Our first wedding reception

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Hello and welcome to another update on the life of Nikman Shah, one of the
greatest people in the world! (Yeah... right *sarcastic* :P). Today I will
touch on the topic of what happened during my brother's wedding reception.

Yup, as I have said before, the wedding reception was a simple one. My
family didn't plan for a grand occasion. To them, what's more important is
that both Bang Shah and Kak Fay, the pengantins (bride and bridegroom), are
introduced to all the relatives and friends; as such, we didn't have many
other things that most weddings have, such as a pelamin (a decorated dais
that both pengatins sit on to be displayed to guests), bersanding and
merenjis. We even didn't have a kompang (Malay traditional musical
instrument) group accompanying the procession of my brother and his wife
towards our house. In place of that, we used a recorded cassette tape that
has a kompang "menyambut" tune.

Hmmm... actually if we wanted to, I think I could've asked for the
assistance of my former school's students. I think I could've asked for
Sekolah Alam Shah's Kelab Kompang to do that! Heh... As far as I can
recall, when I was still in SAS, we always hoped that people would ask for
our help during wedding ceremonies. I'm sure those kids will be more than
eager to help (provided they get paid, of course. ;)) Why didn't I think of
that... Well, I'll just leave that for my sisters' weddings, I guess.

Speaking of traditions during Malay wedding ceremonies, I would like to ask
you guys about them. What are your opinions about those bersanding and
merenjis traditions eh? In my opinion, they are a waste of time. Rather
than sit on that pelamin and face the crowd and get 'renjis'ed upon with
air mawar and beras on their hands, both pengantins are better off walking
around the wedding grounds meeting guests, letting the guests get to know
both pengantins and chatting with them. And as far as I know, the merenjis
tradition is actually not allowed in Islam. Is this true? How about if both
pengantins just bersanding (i.e. sit on the pelamin only) without any
merenjis ceremony (i.e. just for the purpose of taking pictures). Is this
allowed? Can anyone please clarify me on this?

During my wedding, I am going to make sure that it adhere's strictly to
Islamic principles. And I'm glad that my parents also don't seem to mind
that our ceremonies in the future be simple yet sweet. :) My wedding
ceremony I can control, but my future bride's ceremony... I hope they will
also follow Islamic principles in their ceremony. If they do,
alhamdulillah. If they don't, then I'll try to slowly guide them,
insyaAllah... To me, this is extremely important. After all, this ceremony
is the first thing that a husband and his wife do as a married couple. If
even in this early stage of their marriage they don't follow Islamic
teachings and principles, how can they expect to receive berkat from Allah
for their future undertakings as a married couple?

One thing I'm surprised and pleased to see is the assistance my cousins
give in the undertaking of this reception. They came to my house the night
before the wedding to lend a hand in any last minute preparations. On the
reception day itself, they helped escort both pengantins to our house, help
give out souvenirs to guests, and performed many other tasks. And they even
feel jovial about it. Wow... taking into account the fact that I rarely go
to my uncles' or aunts' house during their wedding preparations and
execution, it makes their assistance for our wedding all the more
surprising! I am going to make sure that for their weddings, I try and lend
a hand. No matter how little my assistance is, I will make sure that I'm
there for them also!

As a recap, here's what happened on that day. The reception officially
starts at 12 noon (but some guests arrived early). We entertained our
guests, served them food catered by my mother's friend (nasi beriyani, I
think). I was supposed to be among the penyambut tetamu, but since I don't
know most of those guests, I just sat around quietly, giving assistance if
anyone needs it. Then at around 2 pm, my brother and his wife arrived with
her family members, ushered to the main dining table for lunch, accompanied
with a kompang tune from a cassette tape (modern maaa... ;)). Before they
started lunch, I read them a doa I compiled from what Id, my sister who's
currently studying in Warwick, UK, gave and from some other sources. Some
of the guests are surprised and pleased that I as the brother read the doa
myself. I guess, normally during other weddings, ustaz from a nearby surau
or mosque do that. It's good that we created something diffrent. :) Next,
N, our youngest sister, read a speech she created for both pengantins.
Then, both of them went inside the house and cut their wedding cake, and
took some wedding pictures. Then they went around the house, meeting guests
and chatted with them. That was what happened, in a nutshell. All in all,
our family was quite satisfied with what happened during the wedding.
Considering the fact we prepared for this in only 2 months' time (other
people normally prepare at least 6 months before!), it makes our success
all the more sweeter. :)

I think that's all for now. This post has become too long. I'll continue
next time. Adios!

Posted by Nikman Shah at 10:23 am
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